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Any successful interracial marriage?

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  • #46
    Originally posted by newhigh View Post
    Read the first post: the OP wanted positive stories, not negative stuff. I felt my relationship was positive. Not bragging about anything. I love my girl, and she loves me. Is there something wrong with that? I wish the rest of you the very best and hope you all find happiness. Feel free to analyse my every word if you have time and nothing better to do.
    Good for you and there is no sarcasm here.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by tora916 View Post
      Good for you and there is no sarcasm here.
      Dito!............Bump.....

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Marius_II View Post
        Most successful seems to be the ones where the couple have met abroad, and not on vacation.
        Not sure where one met is so important - Met on shirahama beach over 40 years ago, and married for 38 years, two kids, two grandkids - still enjoying each other. IMO, most important is to be madly in love and to share a dream and then work together toward achievement.

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        • #49
          Originally posted by TJrandom View Post
          Not sure where one met is so important - Met on shirahama beach over 40 years ago, and married for 38 years, two kids, two grandkids - still enjoying each other. IMO, most important is to be madly in love and to share a dream and then work together toward achievement.
          You're obviously not part of the "most" in my post.
          And I agreed: it shouldn't matter. But sadly, from what I can tell (sob stories on GP aside), a lot of west-meets-meats-east youngins urges wedding a bit prematurely.

          My point was this: as discriminating as it might sound abroad offers less obstacles, more welcoming into families, less "trendiness" (or whatever other pretty prominent sad reasons there might be. Halves are hot. Sorta).

          To put that with a figure: 50% (was it) ends in divorce here. Not exactly sure how big a chunk of that 50% have to do with the above reasons. But they do say this: it's higher here than abroad. No?

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          • #50
            Originally posted by Marius_II View Post
            To put that with a figure: 50% (was it) ends in divorce here. ... it's higher here than abroad. No?
            Well, I do not have the statistics - but I seriously doubt that the divorce rate in Japan is anywhere near 50%. I have only met a few divorcees, but of course it could be that I knew others who simply hid this. But 50%, I don't think so.

            Cultural differences, family disapproval, lifestyle assumptions - can affect marriage in any country. Who is to say that the family outside of Japan is any less of a negative impact? The key is to recognise these issues and overcome them. Love is a great motivator. And aside from families on both sides of an arranged marraige, I can think of nothing more stablizing than a shared dream to keep a couple together.

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            • #51
              Originally posted by TJrandom View Post
              Well, I do not have the statistics - but I seriously doubt that the divorce rate in Japan is anywhere near 50%.
              Japanese wife foreign husband
              1998: 33% divorce rate
              2002: 40%
              2009: ....

              http://dandoweb.com/e/marriage.html
              (you'll find other, more flashy looking sites with the same stats if you search)

              Originally posted by TJrandom View Post
              But 50%, I don't think so.
              You're right, 50% wasn't exact, but it is dangerously close.

              Originally posted by TJrandom View Post
              Cultural differences, family disapproval, lifestyle assumptions - can affect marriage in any country. Who is to say that the family outside of Japan is any less of a negative impact?
              Me.

              Actually, those stats, which are higher than those abroad.

              I think you're confusing what I'm saying here. Marriage isn't impossible here. Got the same problems as elsewhere - above the reasons above.
              Those reasons, those obstacles, however, seems less prominent abroad. There, they've already been (mostly) overcummed. That's not to say they can't be dealt with here. But if you think it's easier here, than abroad, I have one smiley for you:

              Ever overheard a girl saying she wants a half, just because they're cute, when you were outside of Japan?

              Originally posted by TJrandom View Post
              The key is to recognise these issues and overcome them. Love is a great motivator. And aside from families on both sides of an arranged marraige
              Thanks Phil

              Originally posted by TJrandom View Post
              I can think of nothing more stablizing than a shared dream to keep a couple together.
              Wonderfully mushy. Perhaps someone in need should write that down.


              Btw., what were you doing in Shirahama, you frollicking piece of foreign meat, you?
              Last edited by Marius_II; 2009-09-28, 06:58 PM.

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              • #52
                Originally posted by TJrandom View Post
                Love is a great motivator.

                I keep reading this thing about "LOVE", are you saying that the Japanese know what emotional love is??

                cs

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by Cultureshock View Post
                  I keep reading this thing about "LOVE", are you saying that the Japanese know what emotional love is??

                  cs

                  Japanese are human beings, they just speak a different language-thats all. May be a bit of a revelation to you though.

                  PS The last Showa emperor was married for about 60 years until he died of old age. Current emperor married in 1958 and still loves his wife. The old guy must have felt something for his wife to stay married that long.

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                  • #54
                    Originally posted by KansaiBen View Post

                    Japanese are human beings, they just speak a different language-thats all. May be a bit of a revelation to you though.
                    So you feel they just speak a different language!!

                    Originally posted by KansaiBen View Post
                    PS The last Showa emperor was married for about 60 years until he died of old age. Current emperor married in 1958 and still loves his wife. The old guy must have felt something for his wife to stay married that long.
                    And how does that prove they actually loved their partners??

                    Would they still have loved for richer or poorer??

                    cs

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                    • #55
                      Originally posted by Cultureshock View Post
                      And how does that prove they actually loved their partners??

                      Would they still have loved for richer or poorer??

                      cs
                      You can ask the same questions about any marriage. Not interracial only.

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by let`s talk View Post
                        You can ask the same questions about any marriage.

                        Not interracial only.
                        True!

                        But then, it could be said there is no point to the discussions on these threads, if there are no differences in interracial marriages.


                        cs

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Cultureshock View Post
                          True!

                          But then, it could be said there is no point to the discussions on these threads, if there are no differences in interracial marriages.


                          cs
                          ..which brings us to the conclusion that interracial marriages are based on the same principles as any other marriages. Right?

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                          • #58
                            So then what is really being discussed here is intercultural marriage rather than interracial marriage. I think that is what offers the most challenge. Interracial marriages within the same culture may be difficult because of outside forces but intercultural marriage is more complicated IMO. My music teacher in Los Angeles came from a mixed family. His mother and father moved from the deep south to Los Angeles to escape the constant harassment from both whites and blacks. Their marriage lasted more than a half century and from the few meetings i had with them they certainly had problems but were very much attached to each other from what i could see. And they were very proud of their kids who did all did extremely well in the ambiance of the 1930's in Los Angeles.

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                            • #59
                              Originally posted by tora916 View Post
                              So then what is really being discussed here is intercultural marriage rather than interracial marriage.
                              Yes!

                              Which means that we have to consider the cultural differences, which many on here appear to feel there are no differences.

                              Example:

                              Avoiding eye contact when talking to one's parents, an elder, or someone of higher social status, is a sign of respect, yet when a Japanese wife does this while her foreign husband "Head of the Family" is trying to have a conversation with her, he may very well view it in a negative way.

                              cs
                              Last edited by Cultureshock; 2009-09-29, 12:55 AM.

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                              • #60
                                Originally posted by Cultureshock View Post
                                Yes!
                                Which means that we have to consider the cultural differences, which many on here appear to feel there are no differences.
                                Example:
                                Avoiding eye contact when talking to one's parents, an elder, or someone of higher social status, is a sign of respect, yet when a Japanese wife does this while her foreign husband "Head of the Family" is trying to have a conversation with her, it could be in a negative way.
                                cs
                                It is all individual. I wouldn`t use the idea of generalization in relationships:

                                "I went to a general store. They wouldn`t let me buy anything specifically."

                                Steven Wright.

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