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What are the signs if the J man is only interested in you being gaijin?

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  • What are the signs if the J man is only interested in you being gaijin?

    Hi all,

    I'm new on this forum. I've been reading a lot of posts about dating japanese men, and lot of you wrote that you felt that he was only interested interested in the fact that you are gaijins.
    So many of you mention this so I guess there must be signs, but the thing is that I dont really feel this, and it is very likely that it is because I dont know what to be aware of. So what are the signs?

    My other question is: so whats the deal? When do japanese guys jump into bed normally? I mean if they are with japanese girls. I heard so many contradictory facts about it that I am totally clueless. Somewhere I heard they are really easy and just after a few dates, some people said they wait for months/(years?).
    The thing is I started dating a japanese guy, and we have had already 3 dates and just reached the kissing part. But when we were at the first date, he asked me to go to his place. I was quite surprised and said no, and told him that I want to take things slowly because thats the way things go for me, and asked when does he invite japanese girls over usually. He said at the 2nd date.
    I kinda like this guy, he seems very nice, but after I read these forum posts it made me wonder. I just dont want to be used and then dumped by some guy I guess...

  • #2
    Originally posted by luynebisc View Post
    Hi all,

    I'm new on this forum. I've been reading a lot of posts about dating japanese men, and lot of you wrote that you felt that he was only interested interested in the fact that you are gaijins.
    So many of you mention this so I guess there must be signs, but the thing is that I dont really feel this, and it is very likely that it is because I dont know what to be aware of. So what are the signs?

    My other question is: so whats the deal? When do japanese guys jump into bed normally? I mean if they are with japanese girls. I heard so many contradictory facts about it that I am totally clueless. Somewhere I heard they are really easy and just after a few dates, some people said they wait for months/(years?).
    The thing is I started dating a japanese guy, and we have had already 3 dates and just reached the kissing part. But when we were at the first date, he asked me to go to his place. I was quite surprised and said no, and told him that I want to take things slowly because thats the way things go for me, and asked when does he invite japanese girls over usually. He said at the 2nd date.
    I kinda like this guy, he seems very nice, but after I read these forum posts it made me wonder. I just dont want to be used and then dumped by some guy I guess...
    I would recommend not to become paranoid. it is a common and sad thing for gaijin.
    just take the relation as any other. after all ALL men want to take a girl to bed ASAP. some for good reasons, some for bad reasons. some who really like you, some who just want a romp. you can not judge a guy for something that is natural.
    you will have to know by other ways if he is really interested in you.
    but the fact that he wants to take you to bed... pfff .. good guys, bad guys , ALL want to do that.

    and stop that thing about "he only wants me for my race" . it is anoying
    so what if he likes girls of your race? that is a good thing.
    I once went with this girl who had a huge thing for latin guys... as far as she was in my bed I was happy.
    of course she was not idiot, she liked latin guys big time but also could appreciate me as an individual.
    and so she liked my culture... great! that was a good point actually
    Last edited by Don Juan; 2010-06-27, 12:31 AM.

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    • #3
      yeah its not a race thing, its a vagina thing.

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      • #4
        make him wait 3 months.........if he can't, then he does not really like you

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        • #5
          Originally posted by luynebisc View Post
          What are the signs if the J man is only interested in you ...
          number one... penetration.
          number two... is willing to put his genitalia in your mouth.
          number three ... wants to insert vegetables in your genitalia.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by jerseykid View Post
            make him wait 3 months.........if he can't, then he does not really like you
            didnt know she wqs q minor

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            • #7
              Originally posted by luynebisc View Post
              But when we were at the first date, he asked me to go to his place. I was quite surprised and said no, and told him that I want to take things slowly because thats the way things go for me, and asked when does he invite japanese girls over usually. He said at the 2nd date.
              Sounds like a normal Japanese guy. Straight to the point.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Don Juan View Post

                I once went with this girl who had a huge thing for latin guys... as far as he was in my bed I was happy.
                Wow, you had to have a threesome with a latin guy to please your girlfriend?

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                • #9
                  I slept with a J man on the second date

                  .....then ended up dating him for 2 years.









                  ........after which I married him.

                  Was he only interested in me being gaijin? Yeah probably. Didn`t stop him wanting to date me and marry me though.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by luynebisc View Post
                    I've been reading a lot of posts about dating japanese men, and lot of you wrote that you felt that he was only interested interested in the fact that you are gaijins.
                    Gaijin men get a lot of the same from J-women.
                    Not even in romance, but friends, too. I had a Japanese friend that I don't hang out with anymore because he kept telling me to speak English when we were around other people. WTF?! If HE wants to speak English, he is allowed, but I am not going to speak English just because HE told me to.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Shikata ga arimasen View Post
                      Wow, you had to have a threesome with a latin guy to please your girlfriend?
                      Briliant. Looks like DJ had no choice...

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by shiratori View Post
                        Briliant. Looks like DJ had no choice...
                        wheres the beer?

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Don Juan View Post
                          wheres the beer?
                          Why me? Ah...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Coraline
                            I have a stupid question to be honest, and dont want to start a new thread.... i want to know what the subtext to this is...

                            I was having a conversation with this friend of mine, and i said something to the effect of, im just asking because i was worried, and he replied, that he doesnt want me worrying about him and i've already been nice (something to that effect) to him, and made a point of getting me to acknowledge that i have been nice to him, i.e. put his hands on my arms and asked me to look at him (we havent had any kind of physical contact before) and looked me in the eye when he said it. What exactly, does that mean?
                            Is it as simple as what he was saying, or is there subtext that im missing there?
                            The guy was French? Japanese? Australian? Arabic?
                            Customs are different I guess.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by luynebisc View Post
                              So what are the signs?
                              I just jab the subject of my affection with my winky.

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