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Bad habbits regarding relationship with Japan[?]

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  • Bad habbits regarding relationship with Japan[?]

    Sorry, a long intro.

    Which is better, Japanese girls who can speak fluent English, ones whose English is conversational or basic, or ones who can't speak English at all.

    Ones who have a lot of foreign friends, ones with little foreign friends or one with no experience with anything foreign?

    I feel the attitude towards foreigners they don't know varies. But of course I am speaking in general terms. Some with good English skills feel that they know more about you than you know anything about yourself.

    I like it when my friends in Tokyo and in the more peaceful areas are chilled with me, and I prefer people who I am not acquainted with who do not know me well to treat me as they would treat another Japanese person or at least without any prejudging.

    Inevitably we will be prejudged by someone, not just Japanese people. We all prejude based on the cover but what determines our prejudice is how much we are willing to read on and correct ourselves.

    Here's how I deal with it. If I speak Japanese and the person replies to me in English, I ask them point blank "Don't you understand my Japanese?" and for all you me haters, they say 'Oh no, it's good'. And then I ask them which language shall we speak in, and then I ask them not to confuse things and try not to be self absorbed [even if they are learning English, I don't give a damn]. Of course getting this from cutomer service is expected. Yes, a waste of time for some, but a part of me likes doing that, a part of me is marginally irritated with the person

    If a Japanese replies in Japanese then half way through decides to speak in English. I will be honest, that makes me annoyed[yeah, I have been judged on that, too] because I consider this sneaky. I retort by rolling my eyes and asking them, "what are you doing, English or Japanese" and they always say "Oh please, Japanese hehe"<--bollocks of course. I know it is a raw habit, but I will always do it because I hate people like that, sorry.

    If I take time to think up a reply for a choice, some see it as an opporuntity to repeat what they said in English. If I am too late, I have to stop them and tell them that "I'm thinking, wait".

    If a stranger suddenly speaks English to me and ask me where I am from, I ignore them or pretend I don't understand English if their English is very good, or pretend I don't understand their English as if it is sh!t because they are not fluent yet. If however, a Japanese person assumes I need help with something and speaks to me in English first hand, I won't be bothered. I would reply in English. If I am greeted by someone in English, I will reply in English. If someone tries to use me as an opportunity, however innocent it is, I don't want to give them the benifit of the doubt.

    I understand some Japanese people want to learn English, or someone Japanese people feel more asserted in their skill to treat me like as if I am some lost tourist, but if there is that kind of vibe and I don't know them I can be very rude.

    I feel that some Japanese skilled English speakers get too informal for their own good when it comes to meeting a foreign stranger. Is it wrong, in regards to relationships in Japan [friendship, aquaintance etc] to respond to them as if you would respond to anyone else.

    I know this guy who is so attentive with his behaviour towards Japanese people, he is concerned about how he comes across towards "Japanese people" and how his friends around him behave. As a foreigner he is himself with foreign people but with Japanese he is as fake as Sh!t trying to be cake. I think this guy is a ____, and Japanese versions of him, I don't like so much, yet..I understand why it happens and would simply like to discuss it with any of your own personal opinions or experiences of dealing with such things. I'm sure we have different ways.

    Understand that a little flaw of mine is the enjoyment of berating people I don't like or don't know who bother me, but I am quite sociable, have loverly friends and have a slight disregard yet deep understanding for Japanese society. [Understanding is vital for adapting]

    It's important to note that a lot can be learnt [I can also learn a lot from yous] from your experience, not just your criticism. I do have habits which make some people angry, [that I have yet to share or may have already] but be warned that if you protest in a way which doesn't require rationalizing ones feeling then I wont be interested.

    Lets discuss.
    Last edited by Jon Lewis; 2011-05-04, 04:31 PM.

  • #2
    Quite the chip on your shoulder there.

    Great how you expect everyone to use Japanese to improve your Japanese, but once one person wants to use English to improve their English, there's a problem.

    Comment


    • #3
      Foreigners are not exempt.


      About three years ago I was having a conversation with girls in Japanese [one of them is now mine], and the foreigner who introduced me to them decided to repeat what I said, in better Japanese to the girls. My Japanese wasn't good, but they understood it.

      I considered his actions rude, though maybe he couldn't help himself, maybe he thought that since many Foreigners in Tokyo can't speak Japanese, I must not be able to. This guy also was inconsiderate of the fact that maybe I was trying to spark of a relationship with them [both or one, whatever]. I asked him "What are you doing?"

      and all I remember was that he was apologetic. I berated him infront of the girls, shoke my head and continued to speak ____ty Japanese to them. IMO, he was not only rude to me but also to them. And maybe this dork was trying to decrease my chances.


      Comment


      • #4
        Expected reply

        Originally posted by Effected After View Post
        Quite the chip on your shoulder there.
        You wish. . I love Japan, get over it.


        Great how you expect everyone to use Japanese to improve your Japanese, but once one person wants to use English to improve their English, there's a problem.
        I don't use Japanese strangers to improve my Japanese. Once again, someone bitter about my outlook and approach to Japanese life. Understand, I treat foreign strangers the same. Question is, is it a flaw? Don't skim the intro, read it. This is about habits, you are too emotionally involve to comprehend that.

        And I thought I had this chip on my shoulder.
        Last edited by Jon Lewis; 2011-05-04, 04:38 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          You do have a chip on your shoulder. That has nothing whatsoever to do with your love of japan or lack thereof.

          And I didn't make anything up - I got it all from your post.

          And what's this 'embittered' talk? I don't know who you are, or particularly care about your feelings about japan one way or the other. I was just commenting on the post you started about yourself. If you don't like people commenting on you, starting a post about yourself seems a funny thing to do.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Effected After View Post
            You do have a chip on your shoulder. That has nothing whatsoever to do with your love if japan or lack thereof.
            haha! Dumb hypocrite. Whether I have a chip on my shoulder or not has nothing whatsoever to do with this thread, so you come off worse.
            And I didn't make anything up - I got it all from your post.
            Internet Posts can't give herpies. What do you get from this---> "you are full of sh!t". Just keep on topic, pleeease. I don't want trouble

            And what's this 'embittered' talk? I don't know who you are, or particularly care about your feelings about japan one way or the other.
            No, of course not, it's all about your feelings, isn't it. I had you wrong, you don't care about anything do you? On topic please.

            I was just commenting on the post you started about yourself. If you don't like people commenting on you, starting a post about yourself seems a funny thing to do.
            No No No, I don't mind people commenting about me. You are welcome to post here with relevant matters including stuff about me. If you just post about chips on shoulders, or decide to make a complaint you must back it up with what was asked from you in the intro. Get it?

            Of course you do. Now start again and try not to be a d!ck or you will have to try and deny that you are and that is boring for you...and me.
            Last edited by Jon Lewis; 2011-05-04, 04:52 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              One more time

              Bad habbits regarding relationship with Japan

              Do share, and any criticizm must be contructive because it isn't about criticizing really, although many see this as a wonderful opportunity.

              Let's discuss

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Jon Lewis View Post
                S
                Understand that a little flaw of mine is the enjoyment of berating people I don't like or don't know who bother me, but I am quite sociable, have loverly friends and have a slight disregard yet deep understanding for Japanese society. [Understanding is vital for adapting]
                Has it ever occurred to you that you are a c--nt to Japanese people but dont even realise but rationalise your behavior because you have made up your mind on how people are thinking towards you? It sounds less like a disregard but more like a deep-seated contempt for people who try to talk to you.


                I do have habits which make some people angry, [that I have yet to share or may have already] but be warned that if you protest in a way which doesn't require rationalizing ones feeling then I wont be interested.

                Lets discuss.
                Habits can be broken, just like cigarettes and quitting drugs, all it takes is some willpower.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Jon Lewis View Post
                  haha! Dumb hypocrite. Whether I have a chip on my shoulder or not has nothing whatsoever to do with this thread, so you come off worse.
                  And yet, that's what I felt like commenting on. Your original post reeks of chipped shoulder. 'Hypcorite'. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


                  Originally posted by Jon Lewis View Post
                  No No No, I don't mind people commenting about me.
                  And yet, you seem to be unhappy that I did so. What you are saying and what you are doing don't seem to match up.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Big Edit

                    Habits can be broken, just like cigarettes and quitting drugs, all it takes is some willpower.
                    What an idiot.
                    Last edited by Jon Lewis; 2011-05-04, 05:04 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Effected After View Post
                      And yet, that's what I felt like commenting on. Your original post reeks of chipped shoulder. 'Hypcorite'. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
                      It does. On topic, please.



                      And yet, you seem to be unhappy that I did so.
                      I was, but I am happy again and will continue to be happy if you get back on topic.

                      What you are saying and what you are doing don't seem to match up.
                      SHould I say it as I do it, next time? "Live from Tokyo"? Off topic, please get back on.
                      Last edited by Jon Lewis; 2011-05-04, 05:06 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You keep talking about being off topic, without realizing that I've just changed the topic to something new - the chip on your shoulder. Now you get on topic please. Tell us exactly how you got this chip on your shoulder, and how you justify being rude to people based on it.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          If a Japanese replies in Japanese then half way through decides to speak in English. I will be honest, that makes me annoyed[yeah, I have been judged on that, too] because I consider this sneaky. I retort by rolling my eyes and asking them, "what are you doing, English or Japanese" and they always say "Oh please, Japanese hehe"<--bollocks of course. I know it is a raw habit, but I will always do it because I hate people like that, sorry.
                          You want people to speak Japanese to you but get irritated by people who switch to English. You don't like people who come up and speak English to you, and would prefer they speak Japanese, as I assume that you want to be treated as a Japanese person. REGARDLESS of their ability to communicate in English or regardless of their understanding of how well you speak japanese. Either way they cant win.


                          If I take time to think up a reply for a choice, some see it as an opporuntity to repeat what they said in English. If I am too late, I have to stop them and tell them that "I'm thinking, wait".
                          Got great people skills haven't you. Deciding what language to speak in is more important than actually interacting with them as a human being.


                          If a stranger suddenly speaks English to me and ask me where I am from, I ignore them or pretend I don't understand English if their English is very good, or pretend I don't understand their English as if it is sh!t because they are not fluent yet. If however, a Japanese person assumes I need help with something and speaks to me in English first hand, I won't be bothered. I would reply in English. If I am greeted by someone in English, I will reply in English. If someone tries to use me as an opportunity, however innocent it is, I don't want to give them the benifit of the doubt.
                          So they cant win either way, as you have them all figured out.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            On topic please

                            Originally posted by Effected After View Post
                            You keep talking about being off topic, without realizing that I've just changed the topic to something new - the chip on your shoulder.
                            That's called thread jacking and that is against forum policy. On topic please.

                            Now you get on topic please. Tell us exactly how you got this chip on your shoulder, and how you justify being rude to people based on it.
                            Japanese people, some Japanese person or people. Which?


                            Me think I will make thee a troll. [bet cancelled ]You don't know it but you are not morally superior.

                            I'd rather you get back on topic, please.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Jon Lewis View Post
                              [
                              What an idiot.
                              You make it sound as if habits are ingrained in your DNA, like the color of your hair.

                              Being obnoxious to people is not an ingrained trait but learned behavior.

                              Comment

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