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Changed jp bf..

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  • #31
    Originally posted by rievi View Post
    Yeah, i suppose u'r right. Last night I just found out that he activated his profile back on the dating site where we met.. Couldn't say anything more..
    He sounds like a turd. A 32 year old perpetual student who has never worked a day in his life living off daddy's dollar = loser. Move on.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Andun View Post
      He sounds like a turd. A 32 year old perpetual student who has never worked a day in his life living off daddy's dollar = loser. Move on.
      Thanks. I'm on it

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      • #33
        Originally posted by rievi View Post
        @ Genkii : aawwwhh, thanks for being nice. No i haven't actually..
        Found his profile: http://forum.gaijinpot.com/member.ph...5-Cultureshock

        PM this guy and whatever he tells you, you do exactly the opposite.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by Genkii View Post
          Found his profile: http://forum.gaijinpot.com/member.ph...5-Cultureshock

          PM this guy and whatever he tells you, you do exactly the opposite.
          Thank you for giving me his profile address. I appreciate it so much. I should do the opposite?? Seriously??

          Comment


          • #35
            my girlfriend's japanese and i'm swedish and we've been living together first in london and now in japan so i know that being in a relationship where you're have to change countries and extend visas and etc can be difficult.

            maybe you're bf's unhappy with living in australia? you also said you have to go back to your country in july this year. do you mean indonesia? if that's the case, maybe he's anxious about that. maybe he feels that while it was awesome to be you, there are a lot of complications he didn't think about in the beginning of your relationship.

            or maybe something else happened. you said he's an introverted guy. maybe there's another issue which is bothering him that he doesn't tell you about. have a serious talk with him. let him know that you are really bothered by what's going on and that you guys need to settle this now. tell him exactly you feel - that it seems like he doesn't care about you anymore, that you've been depressed lately, that you've been thinking about leaving him and so on. speak to him sincerely from your heart and i believe he should open up to you.

            good luck. i hope it works out for you!

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by dino_bravante View Post
              my girlfriend's japanese and i'm swedish and we've been living together first in london and now in japan so i know that being in a relationship where you're have to change countries and extend visas and etc can be difficult.

              maybe you're bf's unhappy with living in australia? you also said you have to go back to your country in july this year. do you mean indonesia? if that's the case, maybe he's anxious about that. maybe he feels that while it was awesome to be you, there are a lot of complications he didn't think about in the beginning of your relationship.

              or maybe something else happened. you said he's an introverted guy. maybe there's another issue which is bothering him that he doesn't tell you about. have a serious talk with him. let him know that you are really bothered by what's going on and that you guys need to settle this now. tell him exactly you feel - that it seems like he doesn't care about you anymore, that you've been depressed lately, that you've been thinking about leaving him and so on. speak to him sincerely from your heart and i believe he should open up to you.

              good luck. i hope it works out for you!

              Hi Dino, thank you for your concern and giving such a good feedback to me. Sadly, i have left him a few days ago. I did ask him to meet up and talk about this situation, to talk about what he and i want, out of this situation. Sadly, he always caught up with work, which i gotta understand when it comes to study and work, he will never put me first. So we ended up with not seeing each other for more than 3 weeks, he caught up with his work, and i caught up with mine. When i have time to see him, sadly he doesn't have time to see me, when he has time to talk, i don't have the time to talk. And he admitted that the main reason why he changed is cause he knew that he won't be able to be with me in next few months. I would love to talk and discuss about this, i do believe if we really want to be together, there will be a way for it, but what can i do when he already backed down on me? I feel so disappointed in him to be honest, we actually haven't officially break up, but i just consider so cause what he's doing right now is hurting me so bad. He said that he didn't have any option even if he wants to keep our relationship, he also said that if we're gonna do a long distance relationship, he wouldn't be able to commit to it, that all he can do for now, is concentrate on his study and stay where he is (there is no me inside of his plan, how sad).

              He knew form the beginning that i will be staying in Australia for a year and i also told him i have some intentions to extend and will try my best to do it. I was hoping i can change my visa into a student visa, unfortunately, my boss whose said that he's gonna help me with it at the first place, changed his mind when he heard how much money i'm gonna need for the visa (i need 25 grand for it btw), even though the money will be back to my boss at some point (after my visa's been approved, i can withdraw the money back), they still wouldn't do me that favor. Well, i of course couldn't blame them for that, that is their decision and i'm not gonna blame or force them to help me stay. So, after i knew about the visa and that i wouldn't be able to extend my staying or change my visa here, i talk to him about it, i'm not asking him to lend me those 25 grand, i'm just simply letting him know the situation (he was in Japan when i told him about this). And when he came back to Australia around the end of last January, he's still my same old sweet bf, but he started to change a week after that. I didn't know the reason why he changed, until he told me about it around a week ago. All i know is he's changed into some kind of stranger that i didn't know. Before, he always holds my hand when we're walking, he always asks when he can see me, but then everything's changing, i was thinking that he might see someone else but i know he doesn't and when i talked to him, he made it really clear that there's no third person. Finally, he told me that knowing not being able with me in the next few months, "unconsciously" affected his behavior, that he's "unconsciously" pushing me away.

              I asked him to meet me and talk about all of it, but he canceled on me twice cause he has to work. And after that, i saw that his profile is been reactivated back on the dating site, so i guess what he wants is pretty clear, he just doesn't have the guts to say it to my face. After all, he knew that by "unconsciously" pushing me away, it'll lead to a break up at the end of the day. So, i stopped communicating with him, what's the point of keeping communicate anyway?? And i just consider that we already break up. It's been very hard for me lately, but i think this is the best for me and i definitely deserve someone much much better.

              Anyway, thanks for taking some time to give me such a nice feedback. I hope your relationship works

              Comment


              • #37
                @rievi: you're welcome! i would advise you to try again to meet up with him. be aggressive and tell him you really need to talk about this. if he doesn't wanna meet up, surprise him at his school or work. you might think this is too much but if you really wanna be with him, i think you should fight for him. maybe deep inside he wants to be with you but there's so much else going on around him with school and study, being away from japan, living in new country etc, that he's confused.

                i feel like trying to talk to him again could be a good idea but of course you should do whatever you feel is best. i hope you can work it out. if not, then i wish you all the best to you in the future!

                Comment


                • #38
                  OP, I was happy when you said you were just going to move on. You should. I'm sure you'll find a much better guy in no time. I don't know why some women convince themselves that they need to stay with guys who treat them this way. I don't think you are one of these girls, btw. Just don't listen to those people that are telling you to force someone, who is obviously avoiding you, to talk with you. You seem stronger, just let him run away and find someone who isn't a child. And I don't think he is acting this way because he is "Japanese". This is his true colours. My fiance is Japanese and he is the sweetest person I have ever met. He is also incredibly open and honest. I've told him what some of my friends' Japanese boyfriends did or said to them, and he always says that's not because they are Japanese.
                  Personally speaking, I have no time for people who play games with other people's hearts, and neither should you.

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                  • #39
                    OP, a friend of mine, some years ago, was working as a Nova teacher (read entertainer) and was dating a Japanese high school student. He was hopelessly in love, treated her like a princess and planned to, eventually, marry her.
                    However, as soon as she started university, she met a Japanese guy, from a wealthy family, who was studying law. She dumped my friend instantly. He was heartbroken and brooded for a few months. Then he changed. He turned into a total root rat, $crewing anything wearing a skirt. No female student of his school was safe.
                    This went on for a couple of years, unabated. Eventually he met a college student that he fell totally in lust with and eventually married. Hes still married, with a couple of rug rats and is as happy as a pig in sh!t.
                    I hope you can learn something from this. God knows what, though!
                    Last edited by oxymoron; 2012-03-22, 03:58 PM.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by oxymoron View Post
                      OP, a friend of mine, some years ago, was working as a Nova teacher (read entertainer) and was dating a Japanese high school student. He was hopelessly in love, treated her like a princess and planned to, eventually, marry her.
                      However, as soon as she started univerity, she met a Japanese guy, from a wealthy family, who was studying law. She dumped my friend instantly. He was heartbroken and brooded for a few months.
                      That's nothing. On J TV the other day there was this story of a British girl who faked cancer with her boyfriend and broke up with him by faking her own death sending him a 'last words' video tape, then rings back later pretending to be the girl's sister just to see how broken up the poor sod was. He didn't find out the truth until six years later when Facebook came online. Sick! Sick! Sick!

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Hi all,

                        @ dino : thank you for giving me encouragement and all, but i believe i have tried and given him my best, my everything, but when we suddenly faced by hard situation, he changed and slowly pushed me away. Despite he's a Japanese or not, i can't tolerate that behavior, i don't think i deserve that, i don't think i deserve him. Well, i guess this is a good decision, cause i always believe if two people really wanna be together, then there isn't a thing that can stop us. I don't wanna fight alone to keep the relationship going, we've been together for 5 months, and i think 5 months is not a week, if he really wants me to be in his life then i will be in his life, but he chose the other way and walked out on a person who loves him the most. I better just leave it broken than devastated trying to fix it..

                        @ nightsdawn : thank you, i'm dating a mature Australian guy now, we will see how it goes. About my ex, yeah, he can live his own life, i don't know whether the way he behaves is japanese related or not, but i still think it's not a right thing to do. I did like him so much, i always prioritize him above me and anyone else, but when he were faced by a hard situation, he just walked out and didn't even give a sh*t about how i feel. Such a charming person isn't it?? Got a lot of lesson from my last relationship and i had a long talk with myself and found out about what i want. I want a life time lover, i want someone who won't even think about passing a day without me, and i met this guy i'm dating, we will see where it leads, we have a same dream which is to start a family. So, we will see what will happen in the next few months, if we both loves each other, then we will figure out ways to be together. I feel so lucky now that i met him

                        @ oxymoron : wooww, she's such an amazing j girl, I freakin' can't believe those kinda people. Well, they will get what they deserve eventually, your friend should be able to see the bright side and thank the rich j guy for taking that gold digger away..

                        @ andun : is it a real story from real experience??

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by rievi View Post
                          @ andun : is it a real story from real experience??
                          Yes, it's a real story that hit the English tabloids some years back. He wasn't the only guy to get sucked in by her either. However, as she never scammed them for money they were unable to file any criminal charges against her.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by rievi View Post
                            Hi all,

                            @ dino : thank you for giving me encouragement and all, but i believe i have tried and given him my best, my everything, but when we suddenly faced by hard situation, he changed and slowly pushed me away. Despite he's a Japanese or not, i can't tolerate that behavior, i don't think i deserve that, i don't think i deserve him. Well, i guess this is a good decision, cause i always believe if two people really wanna be together, then there isn't a thing that can stop us. I don't wanna fight alone to keep the relationship going, we've been together for 5 months, and i think 5 months is not a week, if he really wants me to be in his life then i will be in his life, but he chose the other way and walked out on a person who loves him the most. I better just leave it broken than devastated trying to fix it..

                            @ nightsdawn : thank you, i'm dating a mature Australian guy now, we will see how it goes. About my ex, yeah, he can live his own life, i don't know whether the way he behaves is japanese related or not, but i still think it's not a right thing to do. I did like him so much, i always prioritize him above me and anyone else, but when he were faced by a hard situation, he just walked out and didn't even give a sh*t about how i feel. Such a charming person isn't it?? Got a lot of lesson from my last relationship and i had a long talk with myself and found out about what i want. I want a life time lover, i want someone who won't even think about passing a day without me, and i met this guy i'm dating, we will see where it leads, we have a same dream which is to start a family. So, we will see what will happen in the next few months, if we both loves each other, then we will figure out ways to be together. I feel so lucky now that i met him

                            @ oxymoron : wooww, she's such an amazing j girl, I freakin' can't believe those kinda people. Well, they will get what they deserve eventually, your friend should be able to see the bright side and thank the rich j guy for taking that gold digger away..

                            @ andun : is it a real story from real experience??
                            What would he say about you? You love to write?

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Maybe the guy is worried you only want him for a visa.

                              But speaking from experience if you have too many problems at start it will only get worse later on. Just move on.

                              but i believe i have tried and given him my best, my everything, but when we suddenly faced by hard situation, he changed and slowly pushed me away.
                              You were probably too easy and/or needy = boring. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but I learned this the hard way myself. Beggars can't be choosers.
                              Last edited by Genkii; 2012-03-22, 09:00 PM.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Andun View Post
                                That's nothing. On J TV the other day there was this story of a British girl who faked cancer with her boyfriend and broke up with him by faking her own death sending him a 'last words' video tape, then rings back later pretending to be the girl's sister just to see how broken up the poor sod was. He didn't find out the truth until six years later when Facebook came online. Sick! Sick! Sick!
                                Saw that one too.
                                That was about 6 kinds of f'ed up.

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