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recently-deceased spouse....

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  • #16
    Originally posted by shonanfred View Post
    I get that...nice.
    I just think it is a little something the department stores have cooked up....and absolute BS.
    One last problem I have....I don't have his address.
    Trying to avoid any awkwardness at the meeting....
    Fred
    In that situation I'd wait til you have finished the business side of the meeting then find a quiet moment where you can explain you were out of the country and hand him the envelope with 3,000JPY, apologizing that it is late, but I'd check this with an older Japanese friend, if your wife is Japanese the father in law is usually a good source of advice on decorum. Giving money is a practical way of helping people deal with the situation.

    I think the tradition of giving a small gift in return predates department stores, it's a way of discharging the debt of obligation.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by shonanfred View Post
      About the same time you developed the scat fetish?
      Fred
      That must have been the time we tag teamed in that naked poop wrestling match.
      I thought you went a bit far though when you poked your finger up my arse and turned me over. That was an illegal move.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by thefan View Post
        In that situation I'd wait til you have finished the business side of the meeting then find a quiet moment where you can explain you were out of the country and hand him the envelope with 3,000JPY, apologizing that it is late, but I'd check this with an older Japanese friend, if your wife is Japanese the father in law is usually a good source of advice on decorum. Giving money is a practical way of helping people deal with the situation.

        I think the tradition of giving a small gift in return predates department stores, it's a way of discharging the debt of obligation.
        I think that's a good idea, though having a representative go to the tsuya or soshiki with your envelope is fine as well. I've had to do that a few times sending it with relatives or coworkers when I couldn't attend in person and always got something small such as green tea a few weeks later along with a printed thank you note so it seems to be accepted. Once I was out of the country when a private student who was also a good friend passed away so I missed all the ceremonies and only found out when my BF found the obituary in the newspaper and read it to me. In that case I sent flowers to his wife along with a funeral money envelope of 3,000 yen (which I gave to the florist) and a hand written letter in English (which I also gave to the florist). His wife called me soon afterwards to thank me (she could read English but not speak it) and I also received the return gift in the post later.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Chromedome View Post
          I thought you went a bit far though when you poked your finger up my arse and turned me over.
          Your smile said otherwise....
          Fred
          PS thanks again everyone.

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